Breaking News: Scientists Grow Sausage From Foreskin Cells

scientists create sausage from foreskinIn a groundbreaking study from the Weinberg Institute in the US, scientists have unveiled a new technique that turns foreskin tissue into delicious sausage that could one day offer a green alternative to raising livestock, help alleviate world hunger, and save some pigs their life.

Scientists collected foreskin cells from voluntary human donors aged between 0-6 months and grew them into strips of massive muscle that they combined to make a sausage.

The sausage was cooked by Dr. Bert Weiner, the project lead, in a hot air oven in his laboratory, and tasted by food critics around the world.

Upon tasting the hot dog, British food expert Ms. Anne Mary Robinson was critical: “I was expecting it to be harder… there is quite some intense aroma; it’s close to meat, but it’s not that juicy. The taste is perfect, though I missed some mayonnaise at the end.

However, majority of the experts who tasted the sausage agreed: “It came out very well”.

sausage foreskin research

Researchers say the technology could provide a sustainable way of recycling millions of foreskin tissues wasted every year, while meeting a growing demand for meat.

“If we took the foreskin cells from one penis and multiplied it by a factor of a million, we would need one million fewer animals to be slaughtered to get the same amount of meat,” said Dr. Weiner, who led the research team that carried out the experiments.

However, some experts doubt if lab-produced meat could ever recreate the taste of real meat. “What meat tastes like depends not just on the muscle contents, but on the hormones and feelings associated with it,” said Suzan Hanna, a culinary expert at Harvard University.

Ethical Concerns

Some experts warn industrializing lab-grown sausages might create unhealthy business practices including racial discrimination.

“In their race to make more meat for the buck, I can foresee companies discriminating against Asian donors and favoring Africans, generating serious racial tension” said Emma Watson, Sociologist and Blogger from New York.

“It is going to open a can of worms on the social domain,” wrote Emma on her blog. “There are serious ethical issues to be addressed, like how socially acceptable it would be to consume a human derived product. Imagine someone calling you a cannibal for just eating a sausage.”

However, Dr. Weiner dismissed ethical concerns over the human derived lab-grown hot dog as baseless. “Would you call a baby who consumes human milk a cannibal?” asked Dr. Weiner. “It is as ethical as drinking human breast milk or eating some sweet pussy,” he added.

Image Sources:

Photo: © CC-Andrew Mager (magerleagues),Flickr 

Featured Image: Liam Phillips, Sydney Morning Herald

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Writer and Creative Designer

One Comment

  1. Agitated Teenage Boy says:

    ….Voluntary donors? Really? Are you SURE they said yes? All of them? Absolutely positive? No doubt in your mind? And you can provide airtight contractual and audio proof they consented? Which you can produce at some point within the next hour without access to a computer with photoshop or a sound creation program?