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london crowd royal baby

Royal Baby Born in London!

Everyone’s going ape over this baby boy. After weeks of anticipation, an endangered Western Royal Gorilla said hello to the world on Monday afternoon at the London Zoo. Weighing in at 8 pounds, 6 ounces, the tiny, wrinkled Royal primate seems to be doing well. “It’s a boy and, from all signs, appears to be healthy and very active,” zoo president Anna Ferguson announced at 4PM, Monday. The news has been displayed on an easel in the front of ...
Montreal police chief

Montreal Police Arrest 5-year-old Boy for Assaulting Cop with a Water Gun

Olivier Hanks, a 5-year-old boy from Montreal, was taken into police custody on Monday and questioned after an alleged assassination attempt at the Police Commissioner using a squirt gun. According to the Police, the incident happened on Monday evening, when Commissioner Yan LaFleur was walking to his car near Plateau-Mont-Royal neighborhood. The boy, wearing a conspicuous spider-man mask and orange color T-shirt, suddenly appeared from the lawn of ...

Job Report: Canada facing a severe shortage of skilled lap dancers

A recent labor market survey reports a shortage of over 300,000 skilled lap dancers in Canada. According to Canadian employers, the top positions they find most difficult in finding skilled candidates include raccoon hunters, popcorn makers, lap dancers and nuclear physicists. “There is a substantial shortage of lap dancers and pole dancers right now,” says John Mae, local nightclub owner in Toronto. “It will become worse in the next couple ...
PITS day

Thousands celebrate annual piss-in-the-snow day in Canada

In spite of bone chilling sub-zero temperature and frosty wind, thousands of Canadians went out to celebrate the annual Piss-in-the-Snow (PITS) day in various cities across the nation on Friday. “It’s cool but not that cold,” said Montrealer Michael Stiller of the freezing weather. Michael, who is proud of his Canadian heritage, is a regular face among the thousands who attend PITS day festivities at Montreal’s Jean-Drapeau Park every year. ...

New Canadian Immigration Law Makes “proper married life” Obligatory for Two Years

In an ongoing effort to deter people from using fraud marriages to cheat their way into Canada, Citizenship and Immigration Canada introduced a new regulation that requires sponsored spouses live in a legitimate sexual relationship with their sponsor for two years or they risk losing their permanent resident status. “In Canada, we believe in the sanctity of marriage,” said Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney. “I ...