oprah

“We thought she was asking for a handjob”: Swiss Shop that denied Oprah’s request for a handbag explains

The owner of a shop in Zurich where a rich American tourist named Oprah Winfrey denied her right to buy an expensive ($35,000) handbag has called the incident a “lost-in-translation” moment. “We thought she was asking for a handjob,” says Trudy Gozz, owner of the shop. “By the time we figured it out as a handbag, she was already left.” Oprah Winfrey, one of the world’s richest women, accused the shop of purposefully hurting ...
royal baby poops british

Finally, Royal baby Poops!

Merely after few days of his birth, excited sources close to the Royal family reported that the royal baby has delivered his poop in traditional style. “It is a huge one,” screamed Emily, the Royal nanny who found it first. “It was a marvelous job by Prince George. We haven’t seen something like this in Britain over the past few decades,” said Raj Patel, the Royal Chef, after examining the excrement. “Traditionally, Royal poop comes in ...
Boston bombers are fake muslims taliban commander

“Boston Bombers are Not True Muslims”- Taliban

Mulla Rahmanullah, the Commander of Taliban’s international operations, condemned claims that portrayed the accused Boston bombers as True Muslims. “They are NOT true Muslims,” tweeted the commander in his twitter account on Tuesday. “First of all, True Muslims are blessed with the ‘beard of wisdom’. Those kids look gay and fake,” explained another tweet. The Taliban Commander, who operates his twitter account from an undisclosed location, ...
North Korea Peanut war USA

Kim Jong-un threatens Peanut Butter Missile strike on the U.S.

Kim Jong-un, the Supreme leader of North Korea threatened the United States today with a preemptive Peanut Butter Missile strike, raising the level of rhetoric as the U.S. has begun deploying groups of B-1 heavy bombers to the Western Pacific region. The announcement came in the early hours of this morning on North Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), after a joint meeting by the Supreme Leader with North Korean Scientists, Military experts and Peanut ...
obama spanking michelle

Poll: One-third of Americans believe Obama not spanking Michelle enough

Despite overwhelming evidence and testimonials about the American roots and Christian faith of the President, roughly one-third of the registered voters in the U.S. do not believe that Obama spanking Michelle enough to discipline her, according to a national poll released Friday by the firm Average American Polling (AAP). “If you are a true American husband who is the head of the house and a good Christian who sets a Christian example, there have ...
PITS day

Thousands celebrate annual piss-in-the-snow day in Canada

In spite of bone chilling sub-zero temperature and frosty wind, thousands of Canadians went out to celebrate the annual Piss-in-the-Snow (PITS) day in various cities across the nation on Friday. “It’s cool but not that cold,” said Montrealer Michael Stiller of the freezing weather. Michael, who is proud of his Canadian heritage, is a regular face among the thousands who attend PITS day festivities at Montreal’s Jean-Drapeau Park every year. ...
lennonnews

U.S. Senate tables bill to ban John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’

More than 40 years after its conception, John Lennons’s classic track ‘Imagine’ is still stirring nationwide controversy. In the ongoing senate session, the republican candidate from Texas Senator Lee Tiralo argued that Lennon’s magnum opus has ‘inflammatory lyrics’ with a potential to ‘stir up major political conflicts’ particularly in the strife prone Middle East. “The lines, Imagine there’s no countries, would incite unnecessary ...
Trump final final

Trump all set to prove yet another comedian wrong

Donald Trump is on a roll. After successfully disproving claims of his Orangutan ancestry, the famously outspoken real estate tycoon is all set to make out with Ann Coulter, to prove another comedian wrong. Previously, Seth Rogen, a wannabe actor and twitter comedian tweeted allegations against Donald Trump of making baby Satan, if conceived from Ann Coulter. On Tuesday, after consulting with his attorneys, Trump informed the media of his well sketched ...
Biancheria

Pope Francis to give up traditional Papal boxers, favoring austere lifestyle

Setting a new precedent, the newly elected simple living Catholic leader opted out from wearing traditional holy boxer shorts. The gold-coated Papal Boxers – Biancheria intima di papa – is part of the Papal regalia, the official items of attire and decoration proper to the Pope. According to the Vatican, the two millennia old golden papal boxers are fastened by 3 silk buttons recalling the years of the public life of Christ and has a ...
imigrate

New Canadian Immigration Law Makes “proper married life” Obligatory for Two Years

In an ongoing effort to deter people from using fraud marriages to cheat their way into Canada, Citizenship and Immigration Canada introduced a new regulation that requires sponsored spouses live in a legitimate sexual relationship with their sponsor for two years or they risk losing their permanent resident status. “In Canada, we believe in the sanctity of marriage,” said Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney. “I ...